Can people help being gay

No. You are born gay, or you develop your sexual orientation at a very early age. After that it is not possible to change. In most countries in the world there is strong social stigma against being gay. So if people could decide NOT to be gay, then millions of young people would change and become straight. This doesn't happen, because they can't!

The only choice gay people have is whether to stay ashamed in the closet, or to stand up proud.