How to find out if you are gay?

You could test this in a number of ways. One way is just to ask yourself who you like sexually. Of course, not everyone is honest with themselves or even knows what they like. Here are other ways, divided into categories.

Asking friends and family - People who know you can often observe things about you that you are not willing to admit to yourself. Most who come out as gay to family and friends are surprised to discover that they already know. If you are married to someone of the opposite sex, they would know how intimate you are with them.

Books, videos, and media - If you watch movies with gay characters in them, how do you feel? Do you feel repulsed, sickened, or angry? That could be a red flag that you are gay and in denial. Do you feel turned on and want the same in your life? That could be taken as evidence that you are gay or bi. Are you merely amused by what you see? Do you simply dislike what you see without a strong negative reaction? Or do you simply find it boring? Then chances are, you probably are not gay.

Cross-gender traits - These should not be taken by themselves, but sometimes a person's nature gives clues. If a male is more feminine acting, he could just be an effeminate heterosexual male. Or he could be transgendered. Or the person could be a transsexual woman in hiding. But a certain percentage of gay persons, maybe 25% or less, do exhibit traits of the other sex. There are some guys who, by the way they talk and walk, and the vibes they give off, you "just know" they are gay. But that only works for a fraction of them, and sometimes "gaydar" can give false positives. You can pay attention to yourself and your interests, and compare them to most people of your gender, then ask yourself what draws you to such things.

Having sex - Some test their orientation by having sex. They might be with someone of the opposite sex and see what reaction and sense of connection they get. If that doesn't give a strong reaction or they cannot stand to make it past foreplay, they might try someone of the same sex. However, there are some who just are not interested in sex (about 1% of the population) and know this from an early age. Of those who are not interested in sex, some of those still have it, but the draw to having it is not the sex nor necessarily orientation, but the emotional connection to the other person, or at least the "practical" side of it (eg., desire for children or the physical release).

Observing gay people in public - How do you react when you see someone of the same sex as you whom you think is gay? Do you have the urge to harm them? That could be a red flag that you are hiding something within on this issue. If you feel that way, counseling is advised so you won't act on such feelings and so you can come to terms with why you feel that way. Or, do they turn you on? Do they make you want to be with them? That could be an indication you are gay or bisexual. Or do you have other feelings like pity, concern, disinterest, mild curiOSity, or that they are just people? In that case, you probably are heterosexual or asexual.