Why do men who go out with women of color is it a need to abuse them spiritually?

People tend to date people they are attracted to. That can include people of different race, ethnicity, religion, etc.

It seems like you are making an assumption about all men who go out with women of color with that question; men who abuse their partners or children tend to have personality problems that run deeper than what meets the eye. They may have control issues, been abused as children, etc.