What are some funny friend quotes?

Well, I'm like some comedian gal in my grade :O But yeah Uhm, 1. She looks just like a mutated rat..She mustve got tips from yoo mom! 2. Don't drink water fish have sex in it! 3. If they say money doesn't buy happiness then say, "then apparently they don't know where to shop!'" 4. This is ghettoes than my ghetto :O 5. Does my finger look Spanish?!