How do you train a cockatiel from pooping on you?

Training a cockatiel to not poop on you, or other furniture is practically impossible. If you want to try though, train it almost as you would a dog. When your cockatiel poops on you, blow on it or spray him/her with water. Whatever you do DON'T yell at it(loudly say NO! or BAD!) this teaches the bird to say these Words instead of disiplining it. Cockatiels learn Words and phrases better when they are loud so don't yell at it. Just do something he doesn't like. Hope this helps a little.