How do you get a dog to not follow you all around the house and act like a fool when you are gone?

It depends on how old the dog is. If it is young it is very easy to mold it's mind, if it is old, it will be very difficult as it is already set in its ways. A good way to do it is to say their name before the command, and say it firmly. Dont yell at them, or sound angry, but say it like you mean business. If they do it, offer them a treat, or give them a lot of quick, positive attention. Repeat this as often as possible so that they know what to do when you say that specific command. If they don't follow, you can just repeat the command. If they're doing something bad and you catch them in the act, you can take a small spray bottle and give them a little squirt and say bad *name* or bad dog, once again, not angrily, but firmly. They don't like this, so they learn from their actions. Trust me, this is way better than punishing them by putting them in their kennel or box, and hitting is never the answer, that will just make a mean dog.

2nd Answer:

Take your dog to a local Dog Obedience class so you both can learn. Purchase a 6 foot leather lead along with a choke chain. Measure around your dog's neck and add 2 inches to get the correct size of the choke chain. Check with your Veterinarian or local Animal Shelter or nearest feed store or local newspaper for the nearest dog obedience class. This will help you and your dog immensely. Using your lead with your choke chain is what gets their attention and makes them mind but you need someone to show you all of this and be with other dogs to help socialize him or her.