You likely have a psychiatric condition known as masochism. The basic idea about a fetish is that you should control the fetish. The fetish should not control you. If your fetish is "strong" you may be losing control of the fetish. I suggest you consult a psychiatrist or counselor to discuss your concerns. Incidentally, "circumcision" is surgical removal of the foreskin. Is that the focus of your fetish, or is it about cutting the penis anywhere?
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