It may seem hard to get, but it's actually pretty easy to get your hands on if you know where to look, or so I've heard... Fair warning, it can be quite toxic if misused, and DO not use it for beauty purposes, it is deady in overdose (and it's very easy to overdose on) and, besides which, the more you use it, the more deadly the side effects and the worse you'll come off looking in the end, because once you start to use it, the more you will need it, and the more addicted you will become. If you need it for a reason that is completely innocent, try looking for its botanical name; perhaps a herbal or pagan/wiccan store may stock it.
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