How do you have a conversation?

1.

Simply say "Hi!" (Nothing else beats this!) and introduce yourself

"I'm Peter".

2. Comment on the activity that the individual is doing and ask

questions about it. For example, if the individual is reading a

news article, simply comment "Wow, this photograph really

illustrates the importance of family ties, doesn't it?"

3. Compliment the individual. For instance if the lady is wearing a

sleek high heels, perhaps you can comment, "That's a pretty sleek

pair of heels you've got. Where did you buy them?" When it comes to

praising, be sincere and honest. You'll sound hypocritical or

insincere if you praise things that come across as common.

4. Besides compliments, you can choose to ask questions that are

neutral, non-intrusive, and yet relates to the individual. "Do you

come here often? I heard that the Fish & Chips are good, what

do you think?" Most people love to talk about themselves hence an

open question gets them going.

5. Relate the initial conversation with small talks such as "I

heard that the restaurant down the street offers great Fish &

Chips too! Beers with Fish & Chips is simply awesome, don't you

think so?" Small talks include related topics within the community,

website, relevant news, kids, vacation etc.

6. Be thoughtful and observant about the individual's response. If

the individual is unresponsive or uncomfortable, perhaps you should

avoid persisting too much. Reflect on your questions, some people

may be sensitive to topics such as weight issue, academic

qualification. If the individual is looking at a watch, you should

either change the topic or shorten the conversation.

7. Center the conversation on the topic instead of yourself. When

the individual open questions back on you, talk about the topic

itself or answer with a question. "Well, I jog twice a week. The

breeze while jogging and the scenery - it is perfect! Where do you

usually jog?" This way, the individual starts thinking, recounting

and talking again.

8. Poke fun at yourself. This is a great way to build the

relationship when the conversation partner and you know each other

but not to the extent of being good friends. You will find yourself

having an enjoyable time being teased at!

9. Exit the conversation politely. You can choose to go back to

find your friends or simply grab a drink. If you meet someone that

you know, notify your conversation partner and move away.

10.

Practice! Nothing beats practicing. You will find yourself

initiating conversation easily in no time!

Additional tips:

1.

Avoid sensitive topics like politics, religion, race, conflict,

gender, philosophy and criticism. Instead of criticizing, comment

that improvement or intervention is needed. Criticizing may leave

an impression of whiny, immature, petty, aggressive or

negative.

2. Acknowledge the individual's reaction. "Oh, I see", "Awesome,

isn't it", "Wow, that is quite impressive", "Really? No

kidding!".

3. Be open about your body language- maintain eye contact and avoid

slouching. Lean slightly forward when listening; this indicates

that you are paying attention. Occasionally, nod in agreement.

4. Smile! Smiling is contagious. When you smile, the individual

will most probably return a smile. However, avoid forcing a smile

or laughter under inappropriate circumstances. Smiling while

discussing a recent typhoon is definitely inappropriate.

5. Chuck all the negativity, insecurity and self-doubt out of the

window! It is natural to think that you are boring or feel uneasy.

Rests assure that everyone else feels the same way. Instead of

focusing on yourself, you should focus on getting the conversation

interesting for both you and the individual.

6. Be patient and listen. Often, we can't wait to speak our mind

that we neglect the conversation partner's point of view. Listening

opens up our mind and engages the other individual. However, you

can speak about your idea and ask for opinion. "This book is really

engaging. I really hope that the author is planning for a sequel.

What do you say? Do you think that this should be the perfect

ending or you look forward to a sequel?"

7. Be polite and courteous. "Thank you" and "May I" are some basic

courtesy that everyone should say in any conversation. Besides

this, under no circumstances should the individual be interrupted.

Insulting, disrespectful and arrogant behaviors should also be

avoided.

8. Avoid mumbling. Speak confidently and clearly. The last thing

you wish to happen is the individual getting frustrated repeatedly

saying "Sorry" or "Can you repeat? I can't understand you".

9. If you are shy, have one or two topics ready before saying "Hi".

Chatoms.com is a great site to find random conversation

starters.

10. Keep yourself updated with the news. Latest events and news are

relevant and relatable.

11.

There are instances when you are unsure if the conversation starter

is relevant or interesting. One way to overcome this is to watch

and learn from stand up comedians. Comedians usually grab the

audience's attention with humorous conversation starters. The good

side to this? You do not have to worry if the conversation starter

is interesting as long as it is funny!