How can you tell if a girl is truly a slut and her good girl image is just an act?

I don't believe any male has the right to label any girl a slut. If it's OK for guys to go around like Tom cats in heat, then why the problem with certain girls? If men consider the girl is a slut and uses her then what does that make him? Not much better!

Never mind what other people think of this girl because God gave you the brains to figure it out and you could be missing out on a wonderful girl. Give her a chance and get to know her. Stop the second-guessing and listening to gossip!

There are reasons some girls are like this. Some girls don't receive much love from family, friends or they simply may lack self confidence and want to be loved so much they feel this is the only way they can get a guys attention. Other girls can be inundated by TV ads, magazine ads pushing young women (with all the wrong info) that they should appear sexy and give it their all right down to the bottom line. These girls are completely doing what they feel other girls are doing and in these modern times there sure aren't many good mentors to look up too. Others girls feel they have to act this way to "be cool" and fit in with the crowd. Still some other girls may just be plain uninhibited and as long as they are honest and loyal when they have a boyfriend there shouldn't be a problem.

I find it interesting that the questioner seems to assume that a woman must either be a good girl OR a slut...as if the two were mutually exclusive.

This person seems to assume that, if a woman looks respectable and behaves respectably, but also enjoys sex, then the respectability is all an "act."

Why would it be an act? Why wouldn't her respectability be just as genuine as her sexuality? Many, many women are polite, well-mannered, hardworking, honest and dependable, and also totally wild in the bedroom. It doesn't mean that the respectable side is an act. It's merely the difference between a woman's public life and her private life.

This question, and its underlying assumptions, are steeped in the deeply misogynistic idea that women are not supposed to express or enjoy their sexuality. If a woman loves sex, then she is a filthy whore. So if she loves sex, but acts professional and respectable in public, then the respectability can't be genuine, because the fact that she loves sex inherently makes her a dirty whore.

It's the old "virgin/whore" dichotomy. A woman must either be sweet and respectable, or a filthy whore. If she's sweet and respectable, then she cannot love sex. And if she loves sex, then she cannot be sweet and respectable.

Just because a woman loves sex, doesn't mean she is obligated to dress like a stripper and behave like a low-class piece of trash. And just because a woman dresses respectably and behaves like a lady in public, doesn't mean she is obligated to be frigid and prudish.

No matter what a woman does, she can't win. If she wears tight, revealing clothes and behaves flirtatiously, then she's a slut who doesn't deserve any respect. But if she dresses conservatively and refuses to flirt, then she's frigid.

In short, there is nothing dishonest or ingenuine about a woman who behaves like a lady in public and a slut in the bedroom. Rather, that is how any normal woman who has both self-respect and a healthy sexual appetite behaves.

The problem is not that women pretend to be something they're not. The problem is that, even in this day and age, way too many men are still terrified of women's sexuality. To quell their fears, they must reduce women to either of two stereotypes: the virgin who doesn't want sex, or the slut who'll have anybody.

The virgin is non-threatening, because if she rejects you, it's not your fault. It's not that you're not "man enough" for her. It's just that she doesn't like sex in the first place. And the slut is non-threatening, because she is an object of ridicule and scorn.

But a lovely lady who ALSO has a healthy sexual appetite is terrifying: she's not a slut, so you can't ridicule her. But she's not a virgin, so if she rejects you, you can't console yourself with the thought that "it's not just me; she doesn't want sex from ANYONE." She loves sex, but she's in charge of her sexuality. So if she doesn't want to have sex with YOU, then it means you're not man enough for her.

It would really be nice if all you insecure men out there would stop trying to make women suffer for your own fears. Your sense of inadequacy is your problem not ours.