What to do if you have no license or insurance and you side swipe a car?

You hire a good lawyer

In most states this is two criminal charges

1) driving without a valid drivers liceance

Penalites range from probation to jail time (depends on state and prior offenses).

2) Driving an uninsured vehicle. This offense varies state to state but your car will most likely be impounded.

You are also responsible for all of the damages you cause to the other vehicle and any inuries. This could result in an expensive law suit.