How do you get daughter back from controlling boyfriend?

I have an older sister and from the time she was 14 she was in an abusive realtionship. I seen alot of what was going on, he moved in with us when I was just 8. Once he moved in my sister seemed to change completely. She seemed like she didn't want anything to do with us and it was like my parents just let it happen. They would babysitt me a lot and I saw two completely different people in the person she was with. The guy that was perfect when my parents were home and the psychopath when they weren't. My sister would always do anything to please him and my parents took it as she was crazy about him but in all reality she was just trying to keep him happy (literally).

It's good that you have recognized that your daughters boyfriend as 'controlling' because it can lead to much more and I've seen it. You should also remember that for a teenager the whole age of dating opens up a completely new world for us and loved ones sometimes may feel neglected. Your daughter may be taking your concern for her as you meddling in her business and it could be, as in my sisters case, that is exactly the world is keeping her in.It probably seems the more desprite your attempts, the closer she stays to him.

The only way I could give you any advice is to try to communicate as best you can to try and find a level ground instead of telling her what all is wrong with her relationship. Keep her involved with the family, try and get to know the guy a little better, (so maybe his insecurities seem to ease) and let her know that you welcome the good and the bad that comes with her happiness.

It's better to do that and let her know that your there for her instead of forcing anything on her and shielding her from the world. I know if my parents had done that with my sister than it wouldn't have gone on for so long and she would've realized that he wasn't the only person in her life and would've got out of the relationship a lot sooner...