How do you get rid of the feelings of love you still feel for a sociopath even though you are no longer in contact?

ANSWER:I am very sorry you are experiencing this. I am too, and it is such a troubling emotion. I know, sometimes you feel like you are obsessing. Sometimes you remember all the wonderful times and your heart starts breaking worse. You are doing the right thing by not maintaining contact.

Remember what really happened. Be very honest with yourself. See the situation for what it really was. You were very much in love, the sociopath was using you. Yes, using you. They really do not know how to treat people correctly, it simply is not in their mental makeup. They have a disorder. You are very hurt because you care about this person. The sociopath does not care about others. I don't mean to be callous, truly. This is just the way this disease/pathology is

ANSWER:When you love someone, the love never really goes away it just changes. Over time this love for this person can become less overwhelming and then less important and eventually a much less significant memory.

There's a joke that goes something like "to get over a man get under another". Well, if you fall in love with someone else you will automatically no longer be in love with the ex, unfortunately you don't have control over the next time you will fall in love again, so you must make do with the time healing solution for now which is no fun but it works somewhat well to the extent that it will reduce and probably even eliminate the pain associated with this feeling of loss. With time you will get used to the feeling of missing the ex. Keep in mind that you might miss him/her more than usual because sociopaths are so good at manipulation that you would end up more affected than in a relationship with someone else. A sociopath can elicit much stronger feelings in you than would happen with a normal person. You might end up being much more infatuated with the sociopath than you would have anyone else who was otherwise equally attractive to you (in looks and in the persona they presented to you). Such that you feel you love this person more than you have loved anyone else even when your logical mind says this should not be the case , that others you have been in relationships with before have treated you much better and deserved your love more. The sociopath is good at manipulating, so you are feeling these feelings as a result of the sociopath's skills. However and remember this: feelings are not reality, they are just feelings, sometimes they correlate with reality sometimes they don't, and a good manipulator can create feelings in you that are unrelated to reality. What's more important about feelings is that they come and go, and although you can't choose which ones come, you can choose to a small extent which ones you hold on to more strongly.

This feeling you have now will pass, eventually. It's tough and you can't believe it now, because you've probably gotten over others much more easily than this one, but this one is different, not in a good way, and that's why you got out of the relationship. The manipulator was so good that he/she has now left you feeling that you can't get over it, but that is just one of the manipulator's tricks. When you think about him/her, change the subject in your mind - think about something else quickly, keep doing this and one day it will be over. I really hope this works because I am going to try it for myself. I too I am trying to get over a sociopath and even though I spotted this personality issue very quickly, it wasn't quickly enough for me to come out unscathed. Good luck, you made it out of the relationship and that's the real victory.

ANSWER:

Sociopaths know how to play innocent and from my experience, they target naive and somewhat inexperienced individuals who will succumb easily to their tactics. They get a thrill out of the sense of power and mastery over the person they are with at the moment. Their love is generally need-based. They will date you when they feel loneliness or some other type of need and will keep you around as long as you don't demand any sort of genuine intimacy that comes from truthful communication that may arise from a relational fight. Once you are no longer needed, they immediately turn their attention to a pool of women they already had in mind prior to meeting you. In fact, you were a part of that pool and you are actually no more special than the woman that they have dated before and after. They used the same tactics before you and will continue to do so afterwards, because they get a high from the feeling of respect from the adoration that they receive from their victim.

Don't even feel bad for the sociopaths because of the sob stories that they tell you. When a normal person undergoes a traumatic past, they don't go around talking about it to everyone they know. They only talk about it to a trusted few. Sociopaths announce it to their victims to gain sympathy and when it comes time that you need some sympathy from him, you will never get it. If you were lying on the ground helpless, he would hop over you and run to save his own life. He will not be that guy who helps someone in need unless others are watching or unless there is some kind of visible reward. He believes that as long as he has demonstrated some sort of good works by helping a just cause, his heart is exempt. He feels in this business transaction of having given money to the poor or gone on a volunteer trip that he has fulfilled his karmic transaction. He does not see the importance of personal beliefs, because they are of no use. You can't show off integrity, so what's the point in having it? Purely driven by selfish needs, this is not someone you can ever rely on to be there for you when you fall. In fact, he is a fearful coward. Those who feel love are able to face fears of all sorts on behalf of their lover. Love brings a man to take a bullet for his beloved. That kind of a strength a sociopath can never have. If there is trouble that affects him personally, you can be sure he'll be skipping like a calf to save himself and as long as no one saw it, it's fine. Plus, he will always have an excuse and it will be an external factor that's At Fault. The next worse thing that can happen to losing this person you have loved is to having him.