How do you fix keys on a national cash register class 100?

First, go and make a sandwhich (tuna). DON'T EAT IT!! Walk down the street from your house (turn LEFT) and continue until the road stops. A helicopter will be waiting to pick you up next to the green sign. You will probably see the helicopter before the sign though. Get in. The bald woman in the back is your escort. You will travel to the sun. The sandwhich is to make an offering to the sun god so it doesn't burn you alive... wait for it to eat (Don't rush a sun god). If it accepted your offering, there will be a small door at one of the poles. You have 14.873 minutes to find it. If he didn't accept it... well then your screwed. Find the door and enter. There is a small stage. Lady Gaga will perform a song, and you must watch it all. Afterwards ask her for a key. If she blinks once go to the door on your right; twice, left. In the room you will find a key under the doormat. There will be a portal. It is powered by jumping jacks. 30 or so should be fine. Go inside. You will find yourself in your kitchen. Two things will be on the counter: a red button and a silver box. DO NOT PRESS THE RED BUTTON!!!! Open the box with the key you found. Inside are instructions to fix your thing-a-ma-bob..... GOOD LUCK!