What did the southern women do different from the northern women in civil war?

They starved. No, really, the Southern States were occupied during the Civil War, so the Southern women were living in a war zone. Property was confiscated, food was hard to find, and until the end of the Civil War there really was no way for them to improve the situation.

You will find that people everywhere are pretty much the same. They reacted about the way you would, should you find yourself living in a war zone. They did what they had to do to survive.