Can a father kick a son out of the house against his and his mother's will 18 years of age?

Hi, here where i live, (NEW YORK)--a parent is responsible to a child up until the age of 18. If your 18 yr old child lives at home with you and pays/gives you $$$ for rent--- it is against the law to kick him out. But if he is just mooching off of you and just living there for free, then you can call the police to have him excorted if he does not leave at his own will. The police will most likely take your child to the local shelter. This is my story: My son was getting into drugs, alcohol, stealing from me (money or anything), skipping out in school, risky multiple sex partners, running away from home, not respecting house rules or family values. He was verbally abusive to my husband and i and physically abusive to me. He hated it when i confronted him with things and just was very much into the "Emo" lifestyle (emotionally withdrawn). He was 15 yrs old when i said, enough is enough! The court system was not helping (not even when i call the police many times to the house),therapy either, nor the countless medications for behavior or depression issues. I took him to Iowa where they had a boarding school that provided counseling, education and boarding for him. He was upset because i didn't let him say goodbye to his friends (who were bad influences also) or his girlfriend at the time. He was also upset that i was returning to N.Y. without him (he didn't know he was going to stay there till the same day we got there). I had to do it that way because he would have been abusive again towards me or disappeared like he has many times... for long periods of time. The last thing i told him was, "I love you and this is why you are here. I don't want to see you in jail or god forbid dead because you are making poor choices. I want you to be well and if you work hard in here and understand that the way you were going is not a positive path, then i will be able to trust you again and you can live back home. This will not happen quick for you but i will support you every step of the way". I left without him miserable and hurting but i had to turn my back and not look back when walking away-- it was soooo hard to do. He has been living in that school since the ages 15 through 18. Let me explain, while there--he never wanted to go to counseling, tried to run-away from the school and started being violent and project his anger towards the staff members and other students. Now, at the age of 18, he was allowed to leave at his own will and he did so but he knew he was not welcomed back home due to the fact that he hasn't changed his ways and i would be a fool to accept him back home. And i know my rights as a parent of an 18yr old, that doesn't pay rent here, i don't have to accept him back and i won't be penalized in the law and justice system. So, he is now currently living in a shelter and is looking for work. We do keep in touch by phone and i did send him his documentations that he will need to gain employment. I as a mother will always wonder if i did the right thing and started to beat myself up mentally BUT, on 1 recent call with him, he said the following, "MOM, I USED TO BE ANGRY WHEN I WAS AT THE SCHOOL BUT I AM NOT ANGRY AT YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MY POOR CHOICES IS WHAT LED ME TO BE WHERE I AM TODAY, YOU WERE ALWAYS A GOOD MOM, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU, I'M A BAD SON, I'M SORRY". My reply was, "SON, I NEVER SAID YOU WERE BAD AND I STILL THINK YOU'RE MY BEAUTIFUL SON. REMEMBER 1 THING, THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BAD KIDS-- ONLY BAD CHOICES". I think that at that moment, he and I relieved some pent up frustrations and just cried and cried out eyes out and felt emotionally connected again. He is making better choices today and getting a job soon and getting help from the shelter to get him started in life. Sometimes it takes a harsh reality of life for someone to change. Also, we as parents will always feel guilty about a life altering decision as "kicking a child out" of the home but my way is not the only legal way to do this. If your child is younger than 18 (a minor), the law states that you are still legally responsible for his well being unless you give up your parental rights through the court system or foster care. Also, if you don't want that extreme choice, you can always go to the court system and request a PINS petition (i don't know where you live, it may be different where you are but I'm sure they have something similar and it's just called differently), and the child will still live there at home with you but the minute he does something wrong, you can call the PINS (people in need of supervision) unit and what they do is take him to a juvenile delinquency hall where he basically spend some time thinking about the mistakes/choices he is making that is not very productive...it's like the children's version of a prison system for adults. This may seem also an extreme measure but when you are trying to discipline or instill values and accepted behaviors in the household and the child chooses not to do the right thing-- sometimes an extreme measure makes them think twice and perhaps say, "Oh wow, mom and dad are serious and i don't like being away, i better do what they tell me". You as a parent will feel guilty about any of these choices but you MUST/NEED to stay firm in the decisions and FOLLOW THROUGH!!!! I thought by sharing my experience would give you insight or an idea or encouragement to help you or comfort you in any future decisions you make for your child. I cannot simply say to anyone, let alone a stranger to kick your child out of your home. And another thing to keep in mind, if you kick a minor child (under the age of 18) out of your house-- whatever happens to him while in the streets-- you will be legally held responsible and can get your parental rights taken away or possibly go to jail for child neglect. Well, good luck and i wish you and your family the best!!!