How do people befriend wild animals?

The relationship between humans and animals is a result of the Magna Carta. After this historic event birds and humans saw each other on a regular basis ie: twice a week. This made the other animals more comfortable with going for pints with humans. Sometimes they would even go bungee jumping in Afghanistan, only once every three weeks and mostly on Sundays. sometimes staurdays and Tuesday evenings. After the bungee jumping came the hardcore anal destruction of the humming birds.

This nearly resulted in the extinction of the wild giraffe who got so intensely scared of getting anally destroyed they all attempted to commit suicide by swallowing cyanide and cornflakes. Just in time, one giraffe (George the treasurer of the Giraffe Anti-suicide Society) decided that the giraffes had had enough of the fear of getting completely raped and told the other giraffes that they were actually too tall to get raped by humans, without a large step ladder. This led to the revolution of the rhinos who also decided they were sick and blooming tired of all the continuous rape going on the the jungle brothels. After this everyone lived happily ever after.