How do you make self realy sick enough for hospital?

There are numerous known ways of doing this: A) Drink a moderately enormous amount of alcohol so that you are sick. Once this has happened, you should drink the sick. This will cause diahorrea, which then should be swallowed. This will cause you to be sick, which when drunk, will cause you to have diahorrea. This regime should be followed for two to three weeks, following which you should go to hospital. B) Shoot self. (Please note that there is a health risk associated with this technique. C) Claim to have a serious case of bird flu. People will then assume that you have a serious mental disorder, and you will be admitted to hospital. D) My favourite(and most reliable) method I have used in the past however, is to eat a combination of hydrochloric acid, raw chicken, and paracetamol.