If your wife almost cheated with a co-worker and they flirted pretty heavy until friends told you about it but then she stopped and said she'd do anything for you should you make her quit that job?

Answer

I would tell you to make her quit but you can not make her do anything that she does not want to. If she really cares for you tell her that you do not like the situation. If she would do anything for you she will quit on her own to make things better in the relationship. I have experienced this myself and my wife did not quit. This lead to her cheating on me later with the co-worker. Be very cautious with this is my advice.

Yes, she should quit her job. Out of sight, out of mind. She needs to get away from the temptation and never see him again. If it means you both move to another state to save a marraige, that is more important. Do whatever it takes to separate them forever.

Answer

It happened to me. exactly like the asker is saying, and she stopped because the coworker was not interested in her anymore. I started looking around and found out that it is possible she cheated on me since 2 years before cheating with that coworker. She probably cheated on me with up to 7 guys total, 3 being a reasonable number because of the incertainty of who and where and because of the convincing evidence i found several times. We have a son together, he is 2 years old almost. She even invited the coworker (before i found out) to our home and he had dinner and i gave him the biggest welcome one can give to a stranger... until i found out she gave him a bigger welcome.... oh i feel so stupid stupid... all those years in university, all this experience with women, all this TV watching and googling and life experience and I turned out to be a blind victim. I am not going to leave her because she loves me but i do not love her anymore... blood tests for the kids to determine who their dad is would be my advice before you confront her. once a cheater, always a cheater. it doesn't matter if you remove her of the workplace, she will find someone else (and if she is pretty or acceptable, someone else will find her).

do not ask her to quit her job, it will only result in your loss because if she gets stubborn and doesn't quit, then you lost, and if she quits, you gained nothing while the anger and reasons to cheat on you (from her point of view) increased a lot!

I looked through her stuff and the "lady" asked for an apraisal of our house (behind my back)... so imagine you are comfronting her, then you would scare her more.

I don't know if she will go to the divorce level but if she does, at least now, i am semi prepared and she doesn't know.... i don't want to lose the kid, half of his genes turned out to be mine (blood test is not 100% garantee but his blood group matched).

we will see how this ends. if you stay with her, prepare to meet the devil because today (2 month after she admitted to the affair) she is still behaving like a cheater. a few weeks ago i caught 700 dollars hidden in her drawer. she took them from my son's piggy bank and only left around 120 dollars in it!!! can you imagine? this is money we both put together for his future!

she said the money was to help a coworker who was closing on her house. i know the female coworker and the coworker herself cheats on her husband (my wife told me). so there is absolutely no justification for anything your wife will do from the moment she finds out you know about her. (actually there is no justification for anything she did in the first place), so prepare to live with a now cheating, tomorrow thief person in the same roof as you. you are better off going to the gym, getting some muscles and finding a better partner because a wife is supposed to be a partner in life and if your partner cheats, what would you do? would you ask him to change his desk to a desk further away from the company safe? he will cheat in other ways, just break the partnership.