What matters most is how you see yourself?

The problem with the question is that we rarely see ourselves. We live in a social environment where others like our parents, our siblings, classmates, teachers, coworkers play a part in defining us. And we when we were kids, though we forget this, we tried various roles, various acts and finally settled on the one we have and upon reflection we tell ourselves all the other roles were phoney and the way we are now is our real selves. So what I think matters most may be that we are comfortable with the role, the mask we are wearing, that its working for us and that we know it's just an act.