What is the affect on children that has been domestically abused?

I can only speak for myself. I was verbally and emotionally abused and it left me with years of low self-esteem and shyness to try to get over. After years of trying to build up my self-esteem, I still revert to feeling bad about myself, on occasions. I look back over my life and always wonder what it would have been like if my childhood would have been different. Would I still be married? How could my mother really love me and still be abusive to me? I realize she had her emotional problems, but, I have also had mine as a result of hers, yet I always let my children know how much I love them and always supported their needs, trying never to get them know about my own personal problems.