How can you get sign too zomba and jive record label?

Oh, dude, getting signed to a record label is like trying to find a needle in a haystack while blindfolded. First, you gotta make killer music that makes them go, "Whoa, this is actually pretty good." Then, you gotta network like your life depends on it and hope someone at Zomba and Jive notices you. And if all else fails, maybe try sending them a singing telegram or something, who knows, it might just work.