How do you stop going back to your emotional abuser?

You can't stop someone from acting in the way they do unless they really want too. You have one option, and that's to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have tried your very best with this person and if you have some of the blame to account for as well. After all, it can take two. If this mate of yours is just miserable and verbally abusive to you then there could be many reasons: Depression (if they are on medications please look them up on www.google.com and read about the side effects as some drugs can change a person's personality.) This person grew up in an unstable environment when younger. Some people are just mean to the bone. If it's possible you can sit with this person and say both of you need help (never threaten this person because it's possible they could become violent towards you) and always include yourself in the equation of the problem so they don't feel you are picking on them. Suggest getting counseling, but I will warn you that many men feel they don't need the counseling at all and it's the woman. Some men have a tendency to feel it's a weakness if they have to see a therapist for help. Women are more open minded and willing to go for any help needed. If your mate refuses, then it's time to hit the road. Life goes by so very fast and you sure don't want to waste one minute of it. Also, if you have children, no child should grow up in a household of constant verbal abuse. Be sure you know what verbal abuse is first. I know of few couples (that includes my husband and myself) that can't lose their cool on occasion and threw out a few nasty Words to each other. The trick is, to see what has happened and apologize and then sit down and try to resolve the problem. As humans we all need to have a chance to express our feelings. Real verbal abuse is someone pounding at you over and over again, day after day. It's as damaging as physical abuse, and I would say worse in some cases because with physical abuse you see the outer body damage, but with mental abuse people often don't see the scars this can leave on a person. Abusers are weak in themselves and trust few people. They blame their mate and society for anything that goes wrong in their lives and seldom are honest within themselves. If this is the case then you are going to have to decide to just leave (when they aren't around) and don't look back. Good luck Marcy