How the norm contribute to family problems?

The " Norm " is not always normal. It is an constuct of sociologists, demographics and psychologists . There must be an established norm for civilized society, but trying to fit your family dynamic into a mold society created may cause problems. People communicate and react in different ways. If your family is not doing anything immoral or illegal, maybe that's just the way your family works. Don't try to force yourselves into molds created by TV or advertising or keeping up with the neighbors. Basic good manners, being considerate and honest is a good place to start.