the bath
Broad is the gate and wide the path
that leads man to his daily bath.
But e'er you spend one shining hour
with sponge, and spray and slush and shower,
remember, who so e'er you be,
to shut the door and turn the key.
I had a friend, my friend no more,
who failed to bolt the bathroom door.
A maiden Aunt of his one day
walked in as half submerged he lay.
And did not notice nephew John
and turned the boiling water on.
He had no time or even scope
to camouflage himself with soap.
But gave a yell and flung aside
the sponge 'neath which he'd sought to hide.
I fell to earth he knows not where,
he beats his breast in his despair.
His Aunt fell fainting to the ground,
alas they never brought her round.
And John can never quite forget
how by a breach of etiquette,
he lost at one fell swoop, or plunge,
his Aunt, his honor and his sponge.
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