What are the duties of the lady of the manner?

I believe this expression was originally The Lady of the Manor , a titled or very wealthy Mistress of a large home. Since most of these duties were social placement of guests selecting the menu , seating in order of rank, and giving orders to a large household staff , most of this is no longer applicable to most in the US outside of Diplomatic circles or theextreme elite.

Manners here are most focused on the comfort of our guests, and seating them with convivial company, rather than those of similar rank or achievements. As long as your guests are well fed and seem to be enjoying themselves, that's our main goal .

If you must arrange a very formal affair, please consult a book by someone like Gloria Vanderbilt or Judith Martin [ our current Miss Manners ] where you will find very specific examples and even sample seating arrangements etc.

And for goodness' sake , try to relax and enjoy your own party.