Will eating a summer sausage in 5 minutes kill you?

Yes, unless your coworkers pay you at least $50. NO. ESPECIALLY IF YOU EAT IT WITHOUT YOUR HANDS. YOU MIGHT MISTAKE ONE OF YOUR DIGITS AS A TASTY TREAT, THUS SUFFERING IN ACCIDENTAL CANNIBALISM, AND POTENTIALLY EXPOSING THE RISK OF SEVERE HEMMORAGING. IF YOU'RE INITIALS ARE A.B.S. YOU ARE DEFINATELY CAPABLE OF THIS AMAZING FEET.