Can an abuser who gaslights and uses ambient or subtle forms of abuse ever be someone you can live with and love?

You can certainly try but I'm inclined to think that love would slowly turn into deep seated rage and intense hatred over the course of time.

Why would anyone want to live with a sick minded, twisted person who would do this, when they could be happy and free, and fall in love with a good caring person? Is a better question.

Watch that old film "Gaslight" and you will see what I mean.