Best way for gay men to have anal?

Anal intercourse should NOT hurt -- if it does, you're doing something wrong. There's a good how-to book, Anal Pleasure and Health, by Jack Morin, that does an Excellent job of explaining it all. Basic ideas: relax and go slowly.

There are lots of positions; it's up to the couple to find the one they enjoy the most. One warning: anal sex is a primary vector for spreading sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Play safe, and use a condom!