Is being scared of and disliking gays the same thing?

Not far off. There's a spectrum of feelings from hatred to fear to distaste to disliking of gay people. If you have any of these feelings towards ALL gay people, then that's a psychological matter for you.

Of course, it is perfectly natural for you to like this gay person and dislike that one - everyone has likes and dislikes regardless of sexual orientation - but to have category dislikes (women, black people, gays) is a problem you might want to get over if you want to make life pleasanter for yourself and them.