This is a real problem with little ones, but I wouldn't get too upset because things usually work out. The more of a fuss and the more threats you enlighten her with the more upset she will get. It's not about stubborness at all, but for some reason it's as if seeing their urine or poop splash into that toilet bowl is an unnatural thing.
Here is one tip: Tell her if she "makes a pee pee or a poop" you will let her put some colored sparkles into the water and let her flush the toilet. Make a game of it! Sparkles are cheap to buy and it will only take a few weeks to get her use to it. The idea is to intrigue her enough to want to have a poop so she can see those sparkles go down the drain.
If this doesn't work, let her peers take care of it. Eventually the other kids will tease her for still wearing diapers. Try those Junior diapers that look like little girls undies.
When you go to the washroom have her in there and talk to her about it and that everything is OK when you do "the #1 or #2." Give her gentle reminders that she'll be a big girl when she can do her business in the toilet. Then ignore it.
Remember, bed-wetting, etc., can be signs of the child's bladder not being completely matured at the rate of her growth, so try to put up with it for a bit and let nature take on the rest. You don't really see 6 years and up wearing diapers and your little girl will get the hang of it. Don't let anyone put the pressure on you for not toilet training your little girl. She will do it on her own time.
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