What times 3 equals 83?

Well, darling, if you do the math, 83 divided by 3 is approximately 27.67. So, technically, 27.67 times 3 equals 83. But let's be real, if you're looking for a whole number solution, then 27 times 3 equals 81, not 83. Math can be a real pain in the neck sometimes, can't it?