1st - sociopath is NOT a recognized diagnoses to most psychiatric caretakers (social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists.) It is a generic term used to describe people who apparently are born without a conscience or and unable to form any true social bond to even blood family. Sometimes a person is born and has such a bad family like that they experience what is called RAD, reactive attachment disorder, which leaves a child almost unable to connect with or empathize with other people: they live only for themselves and for the meal, the next shelter, the next drink. People who grow up with RAD learn very quickly how to manipulate others and how to appear to as if they care; but those very close to that person will see the true nature when no one is looking.
If she is RAD or 'sociopathic' you have to expect a couple of things:
she will not grow out of this
she will not grow feelings for others without many years if therapy
most people in this category will not go to therapy or will manipulate the therapist rather that actually try to grow
it is not your fault
you have to protect yourself if and when she tries to manipulate you
you may have to walk away from her for your (and your families') mental health
you can love her all you want, don't expect it to be returned or understood or even cared about.
How to deal with her: a super intelligent 4 year old child. They are at the stage of 'it's all about me and nothing about you', deal with her emotionally at this level, don't invest in deep emotions, always keep in mind this is a "greedy, spoiled brat" and don't expect any give, only take.
I wish there was some way to help you connect with her and help her feel what you want her to feel towards you. In all reality expect no change from her ever and you will reduce you're own emotional damage. I would look to get therapy and join a support group, there are others out there that are dealing with similar family members and you need all the help you can get.
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