What does Peeta Mellark mean on page 141 when he says and acirc and 128 and 156I want to die as myself. and acirc and 128 and 157?

When Peeta Mellark expresses his desire to "die as myself," he is emphasizing the importance of authenticity and personal identity amidst the manipulations and horrors of The Hunger Games. He fears losing his true self to the Capitol's control and the brutal circumstances they face. This statement reflects his struggle against the dehumanizing effects of the games, as he yearns to maintain his integrity and humanity, even in the face of death.