Is it possible to forgive when your husband and your niece who is more like a sister are caught together and you didn't even see it coming?

Yes, you should forgive, but only in the sense that if you don't forgive both of them they still control your life which is filled with hurt, feelings of betrayal, anger and resentment (and well it should be, but only for a time.) I am so sorry this happened to you and I blame your husband! He knew it was wrong, and your niece is probably much younger than him and he should have had more control. I think he has broken the bond of respect, honesty and integrity in your marriage and it's up to you, but I doubt I would want to stay with my husband if he betrayed me with a family member. Everyone can make a mistake, but what he did was unforgivable. I don't know if you have children, if he was always loyal before now and you want to give him another chance and it's totally your decision. Remember, usually when people cheat on their mates in this sneaky manner they will usually do it again. I was married before and my husband was not only verbally abusive and it turned into physical abuse, but he cheated on me a great deal. We were living in a trailer up North (construction work) and a young girl I knew at the time (she was just 17 and I was 22) was being beaten by her step-father and she got away from him one night and came banging on our trailer door. Of course I took the poor girl in and she lived with us for over a year. Right under my nose my husband and this girl had an affair. I did find out accidentally, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't blame her so much as the jerk I'd married because he was considerably older than her! I was hurt, felt betrayed, was angry, felt I was stupid for not seeing it coming (one can never guess on this sort of thing) and had a hard time forgiving, but I did. I had the girl move out and my hubby and I tried again until we moved back to Vancouver, B.C. Nothing had changed as I soon found out and he kept on cheating. I left him and never looked back. I met a wonderful man and we have will be married 34 years this August. This is your decision, but, as you know your husband carrying on with your niece is taboo and the Word is going to leak out to family members. If it were me, I'd kick your husband to the curb, kick his butt out the door, file for at least a separation until you can think clearer and then hopefully, later, file for divorce. Good luck hon Marcy