Give me some advice

This definitely sounds like a confusing scenario that you've found yourself in. Your perspective that middle school relationships don't matter but that it matters to you is very wise for your age, and that's not an easy opinion to come to. According to Couples Therapy Inc., less than 2% of all marriages are to a high school sweetheart. So, even if you and Cal work things out, the likelihood of it continuing into your adult life is rather low.

You're in a time in your life when you're developing the most as a person, and my ultimate advice to you is to focus on becoming the person you're meant to be. When I was fourteen (I am twenty-seven now), the things I wanted for my life and myself were drastically different than where they were several years down the road or even now! But if you have passions, explore them! If you have talents, promote them! Discovering who you are is the best way to meet the people you deserve in your life, because you are more likely to share goals, interests, and lifestyles.

Good luck!!