How long should a couple in their 30's or 40's who are living together and have discussed marriage wait before getting engaged?

In my experience I have seen adults living together for years and years get married, only to be divorced, and they waited a long time. what I would recomend is to look at your relationship and see if marriage is right for both of you. If you know how to communicate problems calmy and effectively with each other and keep passion, then it is not necessary to wait. Many couples just break under the pressure of being bonded to each other in such a manner-(that's why they fail)But when ones in his or her 30's or 40's he or she can tell if marriage is right. So basically if you and your mate know it what you want., then go for, it AnswerThe only thing different from living together to getting married is commiting under the eyes of God (if you believe in this) and a legal piece of paper. There is absolutely no reason why a couple living together for years should end up divorced and if they do then it's all in their heads. Ask youself the important question, "What would change from our relationship now to simply getting married." The answer is simple "nothing!" It would be one or both of you that would change things over the fact you are married. I go for commitment every single time and what better way can you express your love for each other then to say your vows (whether you make up the vows yourself or have a minister, priest do it.)

My boyfriend at the time lived quit aways from me so he would live with me on the weekends. After 5 years it bothered me that he couldn't seem to commit so I said some magic Words, "You aren't getting this cow for free without buying the milk." In other Words I have my own set of standards for myself and feel if someone loves me enough they would want to marry after going together for a couple of years. If not, then hit the road jack! I am happy to say we did get engaged, married and just celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary.