Is it be illegal for a soon-to-be-ex wife from whom you have been sepated for quite some time to use your social security to get copies of your phone bills?

It is technically illegal to use anyone else's SS # w/o their permission, and is a criminal offense to use another person's SS# when it pertains to financial dealings such as contracts. The SSA however gives spouse's a certain amount of leeway in some circumstances. However, it is against the law to access private phone records, regardless of the method used. Even so it is done a thousand times a day by skip tracers, private detectives and even law enforcement (shame, shame!). It would be prudent to contact the custome service department and explain what has happened before there is a repeated offense. They can instruct you on what legal remedies are available to rectify the problem.