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We WILL help you learn how to write a good paragraph.
Write sentences the way you speak - just pretend you are telling this to a friend, and write down what you would say. What would you tell them about this topic?
I don't think they need to know how to write a good paragraph. You are jumping to many conclusions, one of which is that this was an essay question assigned by a school. People may just want to know things. It's called curiOSity. I also disagree with your advice. There is no need to pretend to tell this to a friend, as conversations between friends are usually more casual than essays. But other than that, amazing response.
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