Short version:
As a standalone abbreviation, the Word can be spelled with or without a leading apostrophe:
nother
'nother
As part of the tmesis "a-whole-nother", using dashes makes it clear it's all one phrase.
More detail:
While there are some rare cases where a writer has used the Word nother/'nother, in most cases the Word is used as part of what's called a tmesis.
A tmesis is a Word split into two parts with another Word inserted for humor or emphasis.
Examples of tmesis:
unbelievable + freaking = "un-freaking-believable"
fantastic + fricking = "fan-fricking-tastic"
absolutely + bloody = "abso-bloody-lutely"
scrumptious + diddly = "scrum-diddly-umptious"
Shakespeare also made use of tmesis in his writings - for example, "How-heinous-ever it be" (Richard II).
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