How do illegal drugs affect the musculoskeletal system?

Well, they take the musculoskeletal system gently in their arms, and then they b-slap the crap out of it until it cries like a little girl. Then they kill the musculoskeletal systems' parents right in front of it, and leave it in a wolf den to die. But the musculoskeletal system is raised by the wolves as a cub, and comes back to challenge all the crime bosses in a kung-fu match. Then you find out that the musculoskeletal system has cancer, and everyone is sad.

Until you find out that the musculoskeletal system had a secret love child with Jim Carrey, and that is the sequel, Illegal Drugs 2: Electric Bugaloo.