How do you ask someone to marry them?

How to Make a Man Crazy About You

There are plenty of men -- and women -- who'll sleep with anything that moves -- and never even remember their names. What kind of woman does a man want to MARRY? The kind who:

Laughs at his jokes, even when she's a little cranky.

Catches his eye and smiles.

Dresses with self-respect and a little class.

Practices good hygiene. Shiny hair, sweet breath, subtle makeup and perfume. High maintenance and no maintenance are almost equally unattractive.

Has a life, and isn't waiting around for him to call or text.

Speaks positively and compassionately about everyone she knows or used to know.

Has a fairly busy social life that doesn't revolve around alcohol.

Is athletic without being obsessed. Two to four workouts a week is healthy; eight is obsessive; none is future obesity. Weight isn't as big a concern for most men as athleticism. A solid woman who can walk for two hours beats a skinny waif who can't climb a flight of stairs.

Eats healthy without being high-maintenance. Minimizes greasy food is healthy; won't touch vegetables is crazy; raw vegan is obsessive.

Has few or no health issues. Phony-sounding Allergies; diseases without a medical diagnosis; mental illnesses that other people have to tiptoe around; substance abuse; PMS. It's all high-maintenance, and nobody wants to marry high maintenance.

Has control over her emotions. Tearing up at the movies is sweet; good cheer is mighty attractive. Raging tantrums, crying jags, hysterical laughter, throwing objects...that's psychotic and scary.

Maintains a relatively neat environment. Hoarding is freaky; so are a dozen indoor cats. Plastic-covered furniture and obsessive cleaning are just as high-maintenance. Relax a little.

Has a solid history without family drama, financial turmoil, criminal background, sordid exes.

Adores him -- and that last one makes up for a lot of other shortcomings.