Should I say homemaker or stay at home mom?

It depends on your upbringing and perspective. Homemaker is a classical title that is an accurate description of a caretaker of the home that may or may not have children. If you are proud of your status of being a stay at home parent and want to communicate that you have children and also take care of the home then the second title would be best. (Personally the term stay at home in "stay at home mom", sounds like playing hooky and on some level it makes me cringe.) As an alternative perhaps you could say "homemaker and mother of 4", or however many children you have.