Cheating in itself is selfish; demeaning to the partner; breaking the bond of trust you once had together. Cheating is not a way to resolve marriage problems and every effort should have been made to try to save the marriage and if it couldn't be save then get a divorce so you are free to date whomever you choose. Since you chose to cheat then you take the risks of either being stalked by a lover you are having an affair with; someone that loves you enough to fight for you or, the lover walking away and possibly destroying any hopes of saving your marriage. The person who is having an affair with you has nothing to lose (you do) and may get a kick out of playing risky games and gloating a secret over your husband. Think about t this ... how would you like your husband to have a young woman on side and this was happening to you? This man you are having an affair with is either in love with you enough to try and pressure you to be with him or he's a game player and taking risks. Either way, you lose.
