Why do men have emotional affairs?

The need to be loved is a fundamental basic need in all human beings. It is such a powerful need that, as shown by vile Nazi experiments that hopefully will never be repeated, unloved babies didn't thrive and eventually died.

Biologically, the human race is built to survive and reproduce. As part of that, people have powerful sex drives, and on a purely biological level a man has a drive to inseminate as many women as possible. (Women have similar drives, but the question was specifically about men). When something has what I call 'survival value' it is difficult to go against 'nature' and behave differently.

As these drives are so strong, almost every society has rules, mores, customs, laws and practices that try to regulate them in order to limit the damage caused when their use is used in an antisocial way. In unmarried men or those not in a committed relationship, a certain amount of 'sowing wild oats' is accepted.

Emotional affairs are closely related to physical affairs. All humans need to feel loved, feel admired, interesting, believed in, respected, understood and honoured. These feelings are usually satisfied in the early stages of a relationship, and both people love and feel loved.

As time passes the couple tend to be busy coping with the daily demands of work, housework, childcare and other ordinary things. Very often evenings are busy with meal preparation, bathing kids, seeing to homework etc that the couple end up watching TV or doing something on a computer. They are physically in the same room but not communicating. Soon they may feel unappreciated and resentments start to creep in. It is at this time that the man may feel that his wife does not understand him. Then another woman may start listening to him, appreciating him and communicating that she finds him interesting and attractive, and an emotional affair may well start then. That may then lead to a physical affair as the drive to reproduce for the human race to survive kicks in.

To prevent this, I believe that it is healthier for a relationship to discover the OFF button on the television and computer and to spend time every day listening to each other, talking to each other and being supportive of each other. This keeps the bond alive and the temptation to give in to very natural drives is reduced. Humans have the ability to allow their heads to rule their hearts, and the strength to resist temptation is based in a warm, satisfying and loving relationship.

I apologise for the exclusively heterosexual tone of this answer, but I can't speak with much insight on alternative lifestyles, and I hope that no one is offended. Someone else with better understanding will hopefully add to this and improve it.