How do you properly crush a pill?

First off, you let the pill sit in your mouth and lick it until it tastes bitter. After that you take the inside of your shirt or pocket and rub off the coating of the pill. Second, you cut the pill in half, third you take a cigarette celluphane and cover the pill that you just cut over something solid like a table or hard book cover. Four, take a lighter or another solid object and crush the pill and then take a card and crush it until it is a fine powder. You can also use the inside part of a hose clamp and grind the pill into a perfectly fine powder. I cant believe you asked such an obvious question, someone that stupid shouldn't be crushing and abusing pills, your stupid enough already...