Your car was totaled in a cardeer accident the insurance was in a friends name and a check was mailed by the insurance whos check is it mine or his?

Legally, its the friends because the insurance was in the friends name. Insurance checks are meant to be used on repairs to the vehicle or toward the purchase of a new vehicle. So you could try to force the friend to use the check toward the vehicle by taking them to court. Or you can start paying for your own insurance and not have to worry about the loyalty of your friends.