There is nothing as a parent you can do for your daughter because she's not a minor. If she was raped (I sure hope not) then SHE is the one that would have to press charges. Just be there for her and stop the fighting and trying to get even with this young man. Your daughter probably is in love with this young man and gave her consent to have sex. It takes two. If this young man is a good person, then at least meet with him. I know 17 is a young age to get married, but no so many years ago if you reached 18 and weren't married you were considered a spinster. If the two love each other then try to see this and let it be. Stop and think back to when you were younger. Remember the love you felt for someone, the sexual urges, the excitement and adventure. If you didn't get pregnant before you were married my bet is you were just darn lucky. Yes, perhaps your daughter will get married, have a couple of children and perhaps divorce, but look around ... people older than your daughter are getting divorced. Every so often a few good marriages sneak through and it has nothing to do with how old you are. Never mind what family and friends think and just sit down with your daughter and talk to her woman-to-woman and not mother to daughter. She really needs your support whether she ends up marrying this man or not. Whether she marries him or gives this baby up for adoption, you will always be the grandparent to that child. Although I don't often suggest this, please (if you haven't already seen it) see the movie "Note Book" and you will see the struggles of two young people that ended up together for a lifetime. This is a true story by the way. I can feel for you and I understand you had many plans for your daughter, but she still can finish school, go to college and have a career. It's done all the time. I really hope you and your husband meet with this young man and get to know him a little more. Perhaps he's not as bad as you have made him out to be. Good luck Marcy
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