We have a problem with our adopted son how do you reverse an adoption?

It is generally of extremely questionable morality and ethics to reverse an adoption; if the child had been born to you naturally, would you relinquish parental rights given the same "problem"? If not, then you should take extraordinary measures to avoid doing the same with an adopted son. Extraordinary measures means really making an outrageous, extended, valiant effort to find any solution to the problem, or even a partial solution.

You should probably first see a counselor about parenting; discuss the problem that you have with your son and try to figure out why it is such an emotional obstacle for you and try to see if you can't find a solution to it. There is a solution to almost any problem.

If maintaining your parental rights is impossible for whatever reason, then you should consult with an adoption agency or with a lawyer to discuss your options and, above all, protect your son from any further emotional trauma.