What can you put on your penis?

You can put a condom on your penis for sex. You can put a crisp packet, cling film, rubber bands, a woman, liver, a sex toy, some cream, spermicide, a pair of your wife's or girlfriend's panties, a bread roll, a water melon (if you have a muscle beach penis), a champagne bottle (don't get stuck), a prostitute, a midget, whatever the hell you want if you are kinky maybe all of them. Basically anything with a hole. Just don't get caught and watch out for diseases or anything that is dangerous. Personally I wouldn't do most of these, only the wife, the condom and spermicide, the rest are for hardcore addicts of putting things on their penises.